Saturday, September 22, 2012

Decisions, decisions, part 2

Ok, it has been awhile since I've written, but there have been a lot of things happening in my life. Small things, small changes. Most of them are on the inside, how I think, how I am trying to change the way I view my life. These small changes are adding up.

The first thing that happened was I made a choice. I've said it before. I wake up every day and decide to be happy and decide to have peace in my life. I (try) to think positive thoughts and act in positive ways and as a result I am attracting positive things. I am also trying to be as grateful as I can  for who and what I have in my life. This is a change in the way I used to think, which was a focus on what I thought I lacked in life: a better career, financial ability to buy a house and start a family. Instead I am thankful for steady, temporary work, our awesome apartment and the family and friends that are in my life right now. Right now, all I ask for is for happiness and prosperity.

We are still very much in debt and probably always will be due to my student loans. I used to worry that we would never be able to afford a house or a family or to travel the world like we want to. What silliness to worry over. What a waste of my energy. I have asked for prosperity and slowly but surely we have found financial stability. Bit by bit, we are paying off some of the debt that we recently incurred over the past few years. I just crossed off a huge debt from my "owe" column and it felt awesome. This was a debt that I had been worrying about for about 6 months. But since my change in attitude, I found ways to save up and last week I wrote that check. The funny thing is, neither me or my hubby have been working extra to save up and we weren't going without anything either. The money just seemed to be in our account after about six weeks. I asked for prosperity and we are being given what we ask for.

I will also say that both hubby and I are on a bit of a spiritual journey. This past year was a tough year for us. I had a job that I absolutely loathed and it took me a while to have the courage to leave. Right after I made that choice, my grandmother passed away. Both of us have sisters who are very ill. All of this culminated with us having a lot of questions about what do we believe about life, who are we as human beings and questioning what we believe about God. We decided to attend a Buddhist temple in our neighborhood and on Saturday mornings I am taking an introductory class. I am also reading a lot of different material on living a simple life, including a book a friend gave me as a birthday gift, Choosing Simplicity. I feel at peace and most days I have an inner joy that I haven't had in a very long time. That being said, I acknowledge that my spiritual journey is just beginning and the path is narrow.